Richmond.com: Blog Post : Loser Talk

Loser Talk

Posted by: mward on Nov. 4, 2009

Congratulations, Mr. Deeds. Way to go, lady lieutenant governor. And good for you, girl name wannabe attorney general.

State Democrats Creigh Deeds, Jody Wagner and Steve Shannon might think I’m being sarcastic or having a little fun with them on what's likely a bummer of a morning. But I’m not. In fact, last night’s landslide election losers couldn’t have picked a better time to be such huge, huge losers.

Suddenly, losing an election has become the equivalent of spying Heidi or Tyra wearing a pair of fourth place ribbons around their ears at a New York Fashion week ultra-lounge party. It’s trendy, hip, fab and fun. Just ask John McCain, who’s allowed to open his own mail and doesn’t need Secret Service agents “test flushing” public toilets for him.

Here are a few more reasons why being on the short end of the ballot count is so damn hot in 2009:

You don’t have to get sued by the Black Eyed Peas: As I watched Governor-elect Bob McDonnell make a victory lap en route to the mic for his acceptance speech at the downtown Marriott, the Black Eyed Peas hit “I Got a Feeling” blared from bad speakers. First of all, what a ballsy musical selection… “Tonight’s gonna be a real good night.” And second, I don’t remember hearing Fergie or Will.i.am spewing off conservative sentiment in their last Grammy acceptance speech. Hey Bobby, I got a feeling that someone is getting a call from a lawyer who can afford much nicer suits than you this morning.

You don’t have to get sued by Mattel: Gov. McDonnell may want to consider shaving his LEGO hairdo unless he’s willing to do an “iCarly” commercial block for free.

You won’t get a comic villain likeness painted on a strip club wall: If we see repeat Lt. Gov. Bill crudely disguised as Dr. Doom on the side of Richard’s Rendezvous, don’t say I told you so.

You don’t have to sweat town hall mobs: Did you see those healthcare town halls? Every weirdo and anarchist living in basement apartments was looking for a piece of our elected leaders. I haven’t heard that much awkward yelling since karaoke night at the Al Sharpton household.

You don’t have to worry about your daughter’s baby daddy appearing in Playgirl: Watching Levi Johnston trash former mother-in-law-to-be Sarah Palin on the talk show circuit is the kind of thing that makes parents forbid their kids for running for sixth grade student council. Just in case. Best of all, the dude is only doing this to promote a pictorial that will likely have him posed over a dead moose with a smoking gun, wearing assless chaps sewn from an Alaskan flag. Awesome.

You wouldn’t even get a full term: Haven’t you seen the previews for disaster epic “2012?” The world is going to end in three years people, two years after the Republican state ticket takes office!!! This means they’re already lame ducks, unless Jon Cusack’s helicopter sweeps down and grabs McDonnell & Co. from atop a burning Capitol building before the tidal waves and Mayan spears get them.

Good luck, new leaders of the commonwealth. You’re going to need it. And as for the Democrats, pick up your signs and head to Richard’s Rendezvous. The first lap dance is on Bolling.

Check out "Boulevard & Broad" every week for skewed views and news on the River City.

Redstate

Nov. 4, 2009

Don't be a hater. Virginians finally came to their senses after 1 year.

Reply to This Post

stevenorgan

What a stupid article! Don't know what you were going for here, but you failed. There will be no offensive pictures of Bollings on strip club walls. Democrats are not that hateful. Also, if you didn't notice, all the crazy people at town hall meetings were republican. There is no bright side to this for democrats, or Virginians. Maybe you should get a job better suited for you, for writing is clearly not one of them.

jsn1012

While I agree that the article isn't that great, you, stevenorgan, just sound like a sore loser.

melon56wvu

"It’s trendy, hip, fab and fun" Are you kidding me? It's now somehow cool to lose a race that you have put time and money into? That has to be the dumbest article I've read.
If you have kids you are probably one of those parents that rely on the participation trophy at the end of they year to encourage your kid instead of pushing them to win. What is wrong with this group of people that are either too blind to look past their onesided opinions, or too stupid to see the forest through the trees! What you have in VA is a state with Dem Sen, Wagner and Webb. You have had 2 Dem Governors, the last one also being the DNC chair. And you just voted for a Dem President. Now the state starts to really look at what has been happening and a Rep gets voted into office. You mean to tell me the former Gov/DNC chair cannot even keep his own state blue? This is a sign of what is coming down the pike, and people need to continue to voice their opinion like they have.

jeff_e

I'd like to use the above comment as an example of why we should start requiring a license for web surfing. Nobody should be subject to reading long-winded comments from people who don't understand what the word "sarcasm" means.

lori2929

I love it when Republicans get their feathers ruffled whether they win or lose. Unfortunately, Dems didn't show up like I wished they would of. But seriously, we still have our president. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

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