As the mercury dips and as penny-pinching holiday revelers take fewer trips, the big screen and small screen will have more googley eyes glued to them than popsicle stick snowmen posed on grandma's window sills.
Of course, for every “It’s a Wonderful Life,” there is a “Four Christmases” or “Fred Claus" - cinematic lumps of coal we swore would be entertaining enough. Sorry Vince Vaughn, I really like you, but not in sappy holiday family comedies where you cause and solve all the problems.
That said, Part I of our "Holiday Viewing Guide" will focus on the big screen, all those Oscar-hungry movies that Hollywood waits to release until the 11th hour. Of course, there are a few guilty please mixed in with the fray. And some coal. Luckily, Vince Vaughn is still chilling at the Couple's Retreat this season.
Here is a look at the anticipated holiday flicks of 2009:
“The Road”
Out: Nov. 25 (Limited), Rated R
Starring Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee
Author Cormac McCarthy, whose “No Country for Old Men” nabbed Oscar glory through the skillful translation of the Coen Brothers, is hoping Director John Hillcoat can do the same. A bleak end-of-days tale laced with the constant threat of cannibalism and biblical allusions, “The Road” either has something for everyone or something for no one – I haven’t figured that out just yet. Just to be safe, leave anyone on Paxil at home and tuck in the kiddies.
“Everybody’s Fine”
Out: Dec. 4. Rated PG-13
Starring: Robert DeNiro, Drew Barrymore, Sam Rockwell and Kate Beckinsdale
An empty nester dad (DeNiro) pops in on his grown kids. Hugs and misadventures ensue. Think of a watered down “Big Fish,” in which DeNiro has to swap his trademark cool for Hallmark sentimentality. Keep the Kleenex holstered and prepare for an emotional long distance call to pops.
“Up in the Air”
Out: Dec. 4 (Limited), Rated R
Starring: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick
Clooney and Co. are getting a fair amount of Oscar run for this woeful tale of business class commuters, including Clooney’s corporate gunslinger who’s about to hit five million frequent flyer miles. When you live out of a carry-on bag and eat your meals at the Terminal Café, you’re headed for some sort of cathartic experience...and indigestion. We’ll be watching.
“The Lovely Bones”
Out: Dec. 11 (Limited), Rated PG-13
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Mark Walhberg, Rachel Weisz, Stanley Tucci and Susan Sarandon
Peter Jackson’s translation of Alice Sebold’s bestselling book is the stuff made for “Nancy Grace” syndicated somewhere above the clouds: A murdered young child keeps dibs on her parents and killer from her new celestial home away from home. For those without a map to Peter Jackson's mind, that's somewhere north of the Shire's Hobbit Town.
“The Princess and the Frog”
Out: Dec. 11, Not yet rated (We’re guessing G.)
Starring the voices of: Anika Noni Rose, John Goodman, Keith David and Jim Cummings
The classic tale about royalty, kissing and amphibians gets a reboot from Disney animators and Randy Newman’s everyman musical magic. Disney’s first black princess arrives amid some tepid “controversy,” as her prince charming is more ebony than ivory, and is voiced by a Brazilian actor. Please, please don’t let me see Rev. Al Sharpton picketing the box office.
“Invictus”
Out: Dec. 11 (Limited), Not yet rated
Starring: Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon Clint Eastwood directs this tale of how Nelson Mandela and a rugby stud – I’ll let you guess which is played by Damon and which by Freeman – forge a political and social scrum to fight apartheid. I’m hoping for a Ben Affleck cameo. I’m also hoping there is a special collector’s edition box set featuring “Invictus” and “District 9” so we can watch the metaphor and the real thing back to back.
“Avatar”
Out: Dec. 18, Not yet rated
Starring: Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana
James Cameron’s post-Titanic “Where are they now?” special has a budget of $300-plus million and has been years in the making. It’s called “Avatar,” and it’s a 3-D-apooloza flick that will need to shock and awe with stellar special effects if it expects to recoup its massive budget. The plot revolves around an ex-marine, who’s mind inhabits an alien being in a far, far away exotic universe. Think "Alien" meets "The Smurfs."
“Nine”
Out: Dec. 18 (Limited), Not yet rated
Starring: Daniel Day Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz and Nicole Kidman
This Broadway hit from the dude who directed "Chicago" (Rob Marshall) follows the life of an Italian film director whose world is about to come crashing down on him thanks to the nine women in his life. On sheer star power and pedigree, this is one to watch if you like singing, dancing and a good slap or two.
“Sherlock Holmes”
Out: Dec. 25, Not yet rated
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law and Rachel McAdams
More than 20 years after Michael Caine made Holmes’ debut in American theaters, uber-bankable Downey Jr. is handed the magnifying glass. Actually, scratch that. There is no magnifying glass or deerstalker hat. Guy Ritchie’s reimagining of the classic literary hero is a bit darker than I remember from 6th grade English class, unless they just edited out the benders and bare-knuckle boxing matches. This seems more like a period action flick than an exercise in cerebral crime-solving, but as long as they keep the elementary catchphrases, I’m fine with it.
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”
Out: Dec. 25, Rated PG-13
Starring: Johnny Depp, Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Christopher Plummer Director Terry Gilliam faced a unique challenge in finishing his trippy flick about a traveling theater company: Star Heath Ledger had died. Rather than pack it in or take the Michael Jackson “This is It” route, Gilliam cast a group of A-listers to share Ledger’s role and somehow weave this recasting into the movie’s plot. Of course, there was always Plan C: Film a “Weekend at Bernie’s”-esque documentary. OK, I’m going to hell for that one.
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